Alright so, while I’ve been making this podcast, I’ve been drinking a lot of this. You see the sludge in the bottom of that cup? Yeah. 

Am I the only mad person in the world that gave up caffeine, and then tries to give themselves a buzz by putting tablespoons full of cocoa in a cup? 

I can – I’m pretty caffeine sensitive – so I can give myself enough of a buzz from cocoa to feel my heart jittering in the bed at night, and I stay up late. And then when I stay up late, I’m too tired the next day. 

When I’m too tired the next day, I overeat because I think it’s alright, as long as you just get through the day. 

I noticed that I don’t do my other self care things. I don’t go for work or go for a swim. I just focus on just getting my work done. And at the end of it all, I become so determined to just complete the achievement – in this case, like, get the podcast out to you guys. 

That my self care strategies, my way of relating my, my prioritising of my own body, and my own relationship with myself, has completely been sacrificed in favour of an achievement, because I think and achievement is gonna make me feel something spesh [special]. 

And I’ve been doing this my whole life. 

Think of how you just got your head down to meet the deadline or to get your exam results, right? 

I was reading the most wonderful book the other day. Everybody, whether you’re a writer, or an artist or not, should read Steven Pressfield: Turning Pro. 

He talks about how soldiers in the First World War would sometimes shoot themselves in the foot in order to avoid having to go over the top in the trenches. And that this was called malingering and was a punishable offence. 

And that when I over abuse, caffeine, I stay up late watching Netflix and I overeat, some of what I’m trying to do is the same as what I was trying to do when I was binge eating at University, which is malingering. 

I’m using my compulsions to a degree that I’m actually off the hook and incapacitated. The result is I’m incapacitated; I don’t have to do the thing I’m putting pressure on myself to do. 

I feel huge annoyance, shame. Why am I going around in circles doing this stuff after years of self-awareness and food psychology training? When I help other people out of this stuff all the time? Why am I letting myself slip back in to the pit of it? 

Here’s the thing nobody knows: We put pressure on ourselves to achieve, and how that relates to food. I know it subtly and firsthand. Nobody’s so driven to study it as I have been. 

Because this relationship with how we try and be productive; with how we try and work; with our opinion of ourselves’ of how we try and earn self worth through ticking things off our to do list; with how we’re pushing ourselves. 

That’s the piece which is never talked about in food psychology. 

Everyone’s talking about dieting, and how we try and hold ourselves back, and how we restrict ourselves; how we get into rule based thinking. 

I’m going to talk about that in this podcast too. 

But in this episode, you’re going to hear about something nobody else is talking about. And that is the hidden pressures behind why we overeat. 

And those pressures, I know you’re going to recognise this partly come from your work life. 

I’m going to talk to you as a coach. I’m going to talk to you about these mechanisms because once you spotted it you won’t unset it. 

You’ll be like: “That! That’s what I’m doing!”

And I’m gonna give you a really clear and simple tool to start unravelling, start pulling one piece of spaghetti out of the bowl of that mess, which is a tangle that you have probably done like me your whole life. 

And how do I know you’ve probably done it? Because you are a human being, and because you are a female human being. 

Because it’s part of our female conditioning to push ourselves in this way. And to try to attain success the way that we do. 

Tune in to this episode to find out more (drops on 26 Oct). 

I don’t want to give you too much complex stuff right now because I make it really clear really simple. I’m gonna break it down for you in this episode and you’re gonna leave with your eyes wide open to yourself. And that’s the first stage of change. 

It’s like, “oh, now I see my patterns”, and how exciting it is to have that insight and how much that will give you energy to keep going on your food psychology journey. 

So tune in for that episode. 

If you haven’t already. Get on the podcast app. You type in Hi Food, I’m Home!; you search me. 

And when you found me, click into me like click onto my picture and top right hand corner three dots. Click on that and you’ll be given the option to follow the show. 

You want to follow the show because it will tell you when the episode is coming. And this is an episode you don’t want to miss. 

Also, in the description of this video, you will find a URL where you can join my Podcast Listener List. It’s an insider list. You get notified when the new episodes come out. And you also get special goodies for podcast listener crew who rates and spread the word about this podcast helping it this is one of the prizes–  like my favourite cookbook.

And you will help these episodes find the ears of other people who need it more than just like “oh, here’s a few tips on how to make healthy dinners”. It’s about our patterns. Let’s discover more. 

All right, so you can join on that list. 

More podcast. that’s lauralloyd.co/podcast. See you there.